As I have embarked on my healing journey the last 6 years of my life, one thing no one told me is how much anger would surface. Mad at myself mostly but also, mad about my reactions to events, mad at my parents, mad at my childhood, mad about anything or anyone who has ever wronged me or looked at me funny. No Joke, I was just infuriated and walking around with all that anger. Its takes a lot of self reflection and honesty to really start to heal.
What got me in this situation? Why did I do that? Why do I keep repeating that? Why do I keep letting this person in my life? What do I have to do for that not to happen again? What am I still holding on too that I cant change? Why did this happen and how do I not be a victim?
Its hard to not blame others for things that have happened, we may not have a choice on what happens but we have a choice of how we react to things that have happened to use. It's hard to look at those emotions you have pushed down and purposely bring them up. Its hard to talk about traumatic events in our lives and we all have them and it is ok to be pissed.
It wasn’t the easiest to get out of this energy, as I had to take each thing I was mad about and break it down to get to the root of the problem to release it or forgive it. I had to take those problems one by one. Breathwork was one of the best tools for getting out of my own loud mind and getting quiet to be able to hear what my body was trying to tell me. It was telling me to forgive and be grateful
Now, lets jump into what is actually happening to our bodies when we are angry. When we get angry we have increased heart rate, raised body temperature, hormonal changes, slower blood flow in which your blood is directed away from your gut and preparing you for physical exertion ( fight, flight or freeze). This is how the sympathetic nervous system protects us; it pumps blood to our hands and our feet to run, jump or fight. All though this is a fantastic bodily function it is not good to live in our sympathetic system on a regular basis. During this fight or flight our reasoning, judgement and memory formation can be impaired. If we live in this response of high stress, low function state for extended period of time it can effect our overall wellbeing and personal interactions on a day to day basis. Some signs can include: burn out, stressed out, cant think straight and good ole anger.
When we can get out of the fight or flight, we are able to calm our mind and our whole body. Our brain has better emotional regulation, better focus, clearer thinking, improved decision making and a reduced stress response. Your heart rate slows, your breathing deepens, your muscles relax, and you increase your blood flow. Our body also switches into “Rest and Digest” which you probably hear less about. During rest and digestion your body can provide proper blood flow to vital organs and heal. Sleep is also a good time for this but unfortunately so many of us live a high percentage of our lives in a fight or flight every day.
When I am feeling angry, frustrated or overwhelmed, slow extended exhales have helped me a lot in the moment. I like to take big deep breaths and take in has much air as I can and hold it as long as I can. I then I blow out like I am blowing through a straw, then I exhale with the longest slow exhale I can. Typically, about 6 seconds inhale and 18 second exhale. If I am not angry at the moment but want to work on anger. I recommend doing a longer breathwork session with a min of 20 min CCB or a heavier breathing technique, with a grounding activity to close. with a set intention of working on anger. We store stuck old emotions in our bodies and this can help get rid of old cycles. Setting a clear intention or journal prompts for what you are wanting to work on, can be a wonderful addition to set the theme for your session.